Laurel of Godlike American Achievement

  The founders of America were influenced primarily by two religions: Christianity and Hellenistic polytheism (they pored over texts written alike by ancient Christians and ancient Greeks, as argued here).
  Christianity, however, does not tend to celebrate achievements made by non-Christians, rather hoisting high the deeds of individuals who have sacrificed solely for their cause.
  In the ancient Greek world, individuals who in battle displayed the guile, the strategic mind, the cunning of goddess Athena were said to be the embodiment of that god, to be filled with her spirit. I hereby propose the creation of a national body that will determine, via a thorough vetting process, those Americans who in our times are most filled with the spirit of the gods who influenced the founding of this nation.
  Great generals will receive the Laurel of the Owl and Shield for displaying the heroic endeavor and battle strategy attributed to goddess Athena.
  Great poets and authors will receive the Laurel of the Arrow and Lyre for displaying the poetry and truthfulness attributed to god Apollo.
  Great diplomats and merchants will receive the Laurel of the Winged Boot for displaying the diplomacy and cunning wiles attributed to god Hermes.
  Great disruptors of society and graffiti artists will receive the Laurel of Helm and Spear for displaying the civil disorder and manly courage attributed to god Ares.
  Many other gods exist in the Olympian pantheon, and many more Laurels will be issued.
  The concept of the Laurel of Godlike American Achievement will celebrate people from all castes, all groups, all races, and all religions. It will whip the masses into a great churning froth of Happiness by giving them something to which to aspire, such as knowledge of the woodland arts (Artemis), metalworking and sculpture (Hephaestus), and the celebration of eternal youth (Dionysus), aspirations other than those based purely on the accumulation of capital.
  Your suggestions are welcome. Your readership is appreciated. Your hope springs eternal.

Ultima Ratio Regum,
Juliet Papa Romeo