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08 April 2019

flag lover reacts

Shortly after erecting a flagpole equipped with a bulb to keep his stars and stripes lit up at night, local consumer Gregg Olive Frake clicked back over to the U.S. flag code website. Actually reading through the entire list of regulation for the first time since his neighbor had thrown shade at him for letting his Old Glory hang unlit at night, Gregg’s heart sank speedily. It continued sinking as he slowly finished reading and looked over at his closet. Throwing open its door, he began frantically pulling out and piling into a heap every article of clothing he owned that had any type of American flag printed or depicted on it.

Standing over the heap, he soon came to his senses and accepted the steadfast truth that anyone who follows but one aspect of the flag code whilst ignoring the rest is bereft of both dignity and honor and ought to change his ways.

Gathering the desecrated flags in his arms, he burned them forthwith in a firebox built to local regulations - as soon as the winds permitted.


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