Following a failed attempt to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics, Senate Republicans shifted their attentions elsewhere. Next up are the bloated salaries and outsized benefits packages enjoyed by all members of America’s legislative bodies. “We entered civil service not for riches but for power,” said a Republican senator leading the charge whose name was withheld upon his request. “Therefore, my colleagues and I will take the steps necessary to pay all legislators the minimum wage of their respective state. In addition, we will get rid of wasteful taxpayer spending on generous benefits packages, transferring legislators to the MedicAid system.”
The proposed move caused consternation among members of both the House and Senate, with a number of Republican Congressmen offering clandestine challenges. “How are we supposed to live on the minimum wage?” said an elected official from America’s South who also asked us to withhold his name. “I’ve got a mansion to keep up and a couple of luxury cars to look after. How am I supposed to do this on $7.25 an hour?” The proposed changes will require legislators to clock in and out using an electronic punch-card system and wait their turn in line to see a doctor - just like a majority of Americans must do. Citizen watchdog groups have applauded the move, among them American Civil Liberties Union, Institute for Justice, and Taxpayers of Common Sense. “We view this as a necessary first step in reining in Washingtonian greed and forcing our elected officials to witness firsthand the harsh realities most underprivileged Ynki face,” said Rheinhold D. Julout-Graham, head of Project on Government Oversight. “It has long been our opinion that once members of the House and Senate understand the inadequacies of our current minimum wage standards, they will take the steps necessary to raise or abolish them.”
Although no timetable has been set for banishing the practice of moving from the public directly into the private sector commonly referred to as the revolving door system, watchdog groups remain hopeful that Americans will soon rest assured that their elected officials are actually working in the best interest of the People instead of just a corporate bottom line.
JPR / whorphan / americanifesto / 場黑麥
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