“Spaghett, Shorty” in production

Abandoning all previous artistic endeavors and venturing forth on a more subdued and serious track, Eric Wareheim and Tim Heidecker of the 'Tim & Eric Show, Great Job' publicly announced the filming of a full-length film called 'Spaghett, Shorty.' Speaking last week to a group of reporters whom they had herded into the space between a couple of dumpsters behind their Hollywood production studios, the creative duo defended their stab at serious drama, saying, in unison, “This stab at serious drama is utterly defensible.”

Known more for producing material featuring pelvic-thrusting, tongue-waggling, eye-popping, awkwardly-snorting, fake-crying quasi-celebrities than for releasing products of any value to society, Messieurs Heidecker and Wareheim claim that the idea for 'Spaghett, Shorty' came to each man individually while washing off the crusty remains of simultaneous bouts of explosive diarrhea. “Yup,” said a source close to the pair. “I was near the toilets mopping up their wayward butt-juices, while, nearby, them two were in adjacent showers scraping at and cleaning their filthy dirt-holes. I heard them cry out in what could have been joy but what was more than likely recurrent diarrhea pangs, saying, in unison, 'Of course, old brother, of course we do Spaghett, Shorty!' I shall never understand how the artistic mind works.” The source then insisted on selling us a pound of bunt cake his mother had sent with him for his lunch-time dessert. (We relented; it was delicious.)

Set primarily in Miami during the mid-1980s, 'Spaghett, Shorty' tells the tale of one Thrankdon E. Kürzenschimmelreitersmann – or Shorty, for short – who falls in with a bad crowd after his parents are killed while ballooning in foul weather. Descending into utter madness and abandoning friends and family alike, Shorty eventually finds redemption, and love, in the arms of one Spaghett, a familiar character from the Tim & Eric Show, Great Job. According to insiders working on the film, it features not fart jokes or cameos by celebrities playing retarded people but serious topics such as man-rape, psychological self-indentureship, the vanishing rights of the flightless kiwi-bird, and a detailed history of the Nazi occupation of the Lower Western Friedrich's Islands, whence Shorty hails. “We wanted to serve up some serious fare to our swollen fan-base, which consists mostly of sex-deprived, canned-noodle-eating homebodies who can no longer stomach our usual light-hearted banter and family-oriented content,” said one of the two artists from under a stained and soggy bed-sheet that they had pulled from a dumpster and used to cover themselves. “'Shaghett, Shorty' is set to shatter all box-office records,” either Tim, or Eric, continued saying. “Those selfsame peeps who shelled out thirty million smackers to see our Billion Dollar Movie will lose their marble-sacks when they get a load of 'Spaghett, Shorty.' The final knife-fighting sequence alone cost big bucks to shoot, but, since it was directed by Ang Lee and choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping, who both worked on Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, we expect our fans to get a really, really big kick out of it – huge, like, this big.” 'Spaghett, Shorty' will release to selected American markets before taking over the world.

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