a mess of liberty

LIBERTY is a messy ordeal.
A liberty-crazed citizen would pursue her pleasure regardless of what that pleasure may be. If she were given freedom of will, she would likely decide to speak her mind without censorship, consume whatever drugs she wished (in the privacy of her own home), or have whatever kind of sex she desired with whichever consenting adult she chose.

This cannot happen.
Americans cannot be granted liberty.

Worker productivity would shrink to zero, happiness levels would rise, and the Truth and Righteousness afforded solely to the true followers of Yahweh, the One and Only True God, would be threatened.

Vile philanderer President William J. Clinton, in a rare stroke of wisdom, signed the Defense of Marriage Act into law in 1996 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act), thus upholding the longstanding institution of marriage culled from our Bronze-Age text, the Bible.

Our supreme leader George W. Bush showed his willingness to fight the threat of liberty in his efforts to constitutionally ban same sex marriage (http://www.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLITICS/07/30/bush.gay.marriage/).
We thank you, Premier Bush, for your courage.
We condemn the slime-ball socialists and perverted progressives for derailing this momentous and vital piece of legislation.

The American people must be protected from themselves. The homosexuals cannot be allowed to marry, for it would bring shame to the hallowed and flawless institution of heterosexual marriage. These people, who are obviously confused and not of right minds, are not entitled to the rights enjoyed by others, because their views are obviously wrong and they are obviously criminally insane.

This whole business of same sex marriage could be stamped out quite easily.
First, announce that same sex marriage is legal.
Second, record the names and physical addresses of all people applying for same sex marriage licenses.
Third, remove the applicants from their stated physical addresses to holding facilities.
Fourth, reform said individuals through chemical, electrical, or biological means into Yahweh-fearing heterosexuals, or, failing that, work them to death in slave camps (i.e. holding facilities).

This is the ONLY way to eradicate homosexuality. Giving these people the same rights as heterosexuals is dangerous to the fabric of our society.

Imagine the chaos.
Imagine the consequences.
Think of the children.
Keep America Christian.

Bridgette C. Weatherbottom

(note: This post is satirical, and it in no way represents the author's views. The only morally proper thing to do is to let everyone in America do whatever they want to whomever they want, as long as all parties are consenting and no one gets hurt, unless they want to get hurt.)