hope floats - commies don't

LOCK your windows, and close your doors - there are commies about!
Commies, short for the communist or socialist scum who are infiltrating American society, are evil and should be killed on sight.

As the headline suggests, a dead commie thrown into a river will not float - his body is made of a fibrous material similar to asbestos. Remove the dead commie from the water as soon as possible. His body will quickly rot and pose a hazard to shipping lanes.
As of press time we have not been able to catch a live commie to dissect his body in its living state.
We know enough not to let him live.
We kill the commie before the commie can kill us.

Wily and suspicious by nature, the commie can be lured into a trap only if it is properly camouflaged. He will trash wildly once captured, so have your killing implement at the ready. Preferred bait is mechanically-separated meat product with a high sodium content mixed with stale gingersnaps.
Remove the head of the dead commie as soon as you can. He might be faking death, and there is nothing worse than a wounded, half-dead commie spreading chaos behind your defensive lines.
Wounding the commie will only enrage him - he will still be largely combat effective.
AIM FOR THE HEAD.
Shooting off a leg will only slow the commie; it will not stop him.
Immolating the vile scum will only enrage him. He will charge your position and do everything in his power to burn it down.
Think of your loved ones.
Think of the children.
Do not hesitate.

Avoid public libraries, public transportation, and public universities - these are all socialist institutions funded by taxpayer dollars that provide services to all Americans equally. They are crucial to the socialist ideal, and must be avoided.
Commies have been known to participate in local elections, where they support valuable services such as police and firefighters. Furthermore, the commie will, on the local or national level, support programs that provide assistance to the poor, the disabled, and the elderly.
Anyone who votes for such programs is a commie.
Do not trust.

The Commie uses public roads. Interstate and intrastate highway systems would not exist without taxpayer support. They are socialist services that are dangerous to the American way. Switch to privately funded road systems whenever possible.

Every step toward communism is a step away from the American Way of Life. We must band together to stamp out the aforementioned socialist institutions. We must close our schools, tear up our roads, disband our emergency services, and burn down our libraries.
Only then will we be free of communism and its bastard cousin, socialism.
Only then can America flourish.

Know your commie. He may seem peaceful and well educated, but he is likely an atheist and a believer in sacrifice for the common good.
Fear the commie - you life may depend on it.

Ultima Ratio Regum

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